Soft moments - Eric and the Invitation to the distribution centre
It sounds awfully precocious, but I am noticing a phenomenon which I've named 'soft moments.' I goes like this:. I am walking down the road when something or someone catches my attention, maybe I don't even know what. However it usually starts with a smile or a glance. This is the start of the soft moment, an opening if you will, and often you can enter the soft moment, but equally you can miss it or just refuse it. Let me give you an example:
The other evening when I met the lad who could speak such good English. I was walking down the road when I felt I was being observed there was a toddler heading out of a park glancing at me. Mum was nearby and she smiled at me, not a casual smile but a really warm smile. I could have just nodded and walked by. I didn't, I stopped, it felt like an opening. Then this guy comes along and said in broken English that the woman was his grandma...which she obviously wasn't. A conversation started, he bought some 6barbecue, shared it, and the lad who could speak English came over. I swapped WeChat profiles with dad. Dad posted a video of him with a snake. I commented on the video and got a dinner invitation, all because I'd responded to soft moment.
Two examples from today.
Eric
Today was hot and humid. I'd finished my two lessons of the day and was headed out of the office. I saw a student who appeared to be studying on her own. It was around midday and everyone was asleep. She smiled. I smiled and I walked over to her not knowing what to say. I asked her if she was studying alone. She said yes. I have her the thumbs up sign smiled and said "Well done!". Conversation over. As I walked around d the corner to the stairs I bumped into Eric. We began to chat. It was hot and I wanted to get home to my air-conditioned flat. But I stopped and we talked. It was a soft moment. I opened myself up to it. At the end of the conversation , Eric offered his hand. "Will you be my friend?". "Of course!" I said " Hao pengyou (good friend). A soft moment.
Invitation into the distribution centre
So I walked home. I met Anna on the way. As I was walking past the row of shops near my house one of the guys spoke to me. Not a clue what he said, but he seemed enthusiastic, and invited me into the go get down to!round floor office, which was a big open-fronted shop full of big boxes and 'stuff'. As I entered the the building he pointed to the ceiling. There was a big old fan. I laughed and he offered me a chair, a Chinese chair, which was about 12 inches high! We tried to chat. We made some progress. I offered him my phone so he could the on it in Chinese and I could convert it to English. He couldn't manage that, but he had an idea. Because I couldn't always understand what he said, and because I offered him my phone to write on, I think he thought I could read Chinese! So he got an old book and a marker pen started to write things down....in Chinese, real Chinese characters, not pinyin (English characters!). That didn't help much, but I can see where his thought came from!
The other evening when I met the lad who could speak such good English. I was walking down the road when I felt I was being observed there was a toddler heading out of a park glancing at me. Mum was nearby and she smiled at me, not a casual smile but a really warm smile. I could have just nodded and walked by. I didn't, I stopped, it felt like an opening. Then this guy comes along and said in broken English that the woman was his grandma...which she obviously wasn't. A conversation started, he bought some 6barbecue, shared it, and the lad who could speak English came over. I swapped WeChat profiles with dad. Dad posted a video of him with a snake. I commented on the video and got a dinner invitation, all because I'd responded to soft moment.
Two examples from today.
Eric
Today was hot and humid. I'd finished my two lessons of the day and was headed out of the office. I saw a student who appeared to be studying on her own. It was around midday and everyone was asleep. She smiled. I smiled and I walked over to her not knowing what to say. I asked her if she was studying alone. She said yes. I have her the thumbs up sign smiled and said "Well done!". Conversation over. As I walked around d the corner to the stairs I bumped into Eric. We began to chat. It was hot and I wanted to get home to my air-conditioned flat. But I stopped and we talked. It was a soft moment. I opened myself up to it. At the end of the conversation , Eric offered his hand. "Will you be my friend?". "Of course!" I said " Hao pengyou (good friend). A soft moment.
Invitation into the distribution centre
So I walked home. I met Anna on the way. As I was walking past the row of shops near my house one of the guys spoke to me. Not a clue what he said, but he seemed enthusiastic, and invited me into the go get down to!round floor office, which was a big open-fronted shop full of big boxes and 'stuff'. As I entered the the building he pointed to the ceiling. There was a big old fan. I laughed and he offered me a chair, a Chinese chair, which was about 12 inches high! We tried to chat. We made some progress. I offered him my phone so he could the on it in Chinese and I could convert it to English. He couldn't manage that, but he had an idea. Because I couldn't always understand what he said, and because I offered him my phone to write on, I think he thought I could read Chinese! So he got an old book and a marker pen started to write things down....in Chinese, real Chinese characters, not pinyin (English characters!). That didn't help much, but I can see where his thought came from!
Well we communicated a bit, I wrote out my Chinese name for him in Chinese characters, he asked me the usual "How much do you earn?" Question. I politely declined to answer as I believe I earn substantially more than many in Jiangkou. I took a few photos, told him I needed to go home, and all was well. Another soft moment.
Comments
Post a Comment