A kind of a weird day

Today was strange and I am not sure I want to publish everything, but here goes!

Teaching

Today teaching was little difficult and I had to shout at a few classes.  It scared them a little but brought them back on track, however I discovered something that puzzled me. Some of the lower sets do not seem to know the concept of left and right!  I was teaching the position of objects and started to ask questions about what was on the left of and what was on the right of.  It was obvious that two of my classes had no idea what I was talking about.  I was stumped!  I was not prepared for this!  I did the best I could and carried on.  I seem to remember that in my study of Chinese, the that it was more normal to use north of south of etc. but still thought the pupils would know the idea of left and right.  I later asked a Chinese Friend and they thought that the pupils should know this.  I remain puzzled over this one.

A free lunch at school from a pupil 

Despite safeguarding not being a concept here in my school, we arranged that we would not want to exchange social media details with students.  This has now been enshrined in a new school rule for foreigners.   It is still quite acceptable for Chinese teachers to have pupils social media details in order to contact them.  At least in this school.  Long story short, one of the pupils, Sabrina, has a friend who is of university age and who took me out during the summer and during the course of this trip I went to play with the fire brigade, Sabrina came along.  Sabrina really wants to treat me well and tries hard to do so.  Today on my way to lunch she caught up with me and offered to buy me lunch.  I accepted.  We were going to the school canteen and it would be full of other students.  If she was comfortable with that then it was a safe place to go.  She insisted on paying the small lunch fee.  n the way to the canteen she chatted and discovered that my Chinese had improved and we spoke in Chinese whilst her other friend spoke in English.   It was a lovely experience.  Sitting in the canteen with her and her friend and talking in a mixture of Chinese and English.  Finally people have started to understand me and Sabrina was happy not only at my Chinese, but that she had finally succeeded in inviting me to a dinner, which is a very common invitation from and between Chinese people and their friends!  All in all a wonderful experience that did not feel in the lest bit uncomfortable, and from an English safeguarding point of view was a relatively 'safe' experience.  Afterwards we went to the small shop and exchanged a few snacks.  Sabrina went off with friends and I returned to my office.

The Kids

I think I mentioned a while back that I informally taught three kids but for various reasons I had to stop.  I miss the kids so I took a few presents for them.  I was hoping to be able to sneak the presents into the shop front of their house but part of the family were there.  I thought they may be annoyed because I had to give up teaching their children, but far from it.  They invited me in and gave me some tea.  At the big tea table there were a couple of men who were doing calligraphy.  They gave me a brush and invited me to try.  I attempted a refusal but got stuck in.  They, and I , were quite impressed by my efforts.  I then told them I had to go.  They thanked me for the presents and I left.  It seems we are still friends.

A dinner refusal

 After dropping off the presents I wandered out into town.  Sherika wanted a big umbrella and could not be bothered to get it.  I decided I needed to go to the far end of town and could buy her one.  On my way there I saw restaurant boss lady.  I was happy to see her and went to embrace her, forgetting this was China, and she stepped backward to avoid me.  Anyhow, we got talking, well sort of.  She speaks dialect and cannot understand my Chinese.  It really frustrates me.  People now start to understand me but she never understands me, not even simple words, and since I helped her set up her phone to translate my English into Chinese, she does what many local dialect speakers do...reach for their phone to do the translating.  For them I think they just want to communicate.  For me it is just a refusal to even try to understand me.  Anyway we talked.  I told her I was going to buy an umbrella and if she came with me I could take her out to dinner afterwards, my treat.  Finally a chance to pay her back.  Long story short, I bought the umbrella and we walked back towards a little restaurant I know.  As we walked she seemed a bit distant and took several phone calls.  Just before we got to the restaurant, she asked if I liked goose.  A random question, but I guessed where the conversation would go.  I told her that I did, but hat I was inviting her and I would pick the restaurant.  As we turned the corner to the restaurant she stopped and asked me instead to come to her shop (restaurant) and eat goose with her and a 'sister' (friend).  I said I didn't want to eat goose, I wanted to treat her to a meal as a gesture of 'repayment for all the kindness she had shown.  She said that friends do not have to repay each other,and that I should come with her to eat goose with her sister.  She then walked off.  I walked after her for a while and called after her.  She eventually stopped.  I told her that I was upset.  I told her that I had invited her to eat and she had chosen to go somewhere else instead after she had accepted my offer.  She laughed, waved her hand dismissively and walked off.  I was upset and to be honest a little angry.  I have been treated this way before by someone else.  They had arranged to meet be but 'got a better offer' and jst dint turn up.  When I eventually challenged them they said "Oh don't be so stingy, just let go of it, I couldn't refuse them could I?'.   So what were the choices open to me?  I could follow after her and try to catch up. I could go for a big argument, or I could just disappear.  I chose the latter.  I slipped off down a side street and and in such a manner that I would not be found.  Just before I got to the restaurant, a lot of messages on my phone. "Where was I?"  " Was I playing a game?" " What happened, I can't find you?"  I chose not to reply straight away.  I had my dinner and then looked at the texts.  I explained my point of view and she thought it must be a cultural misunderstanding.  I am not so sure.  From my point of view, if I invite you to an event, and after the invitation you decide that something else/ someone else is more important then it is just bad manners. Equally, as happened to me last time, if you invite me to an event and don't turn up and offer now explanation until hours afterwards, and the explanation is that you decided to do something else instead, then it is just bad manners.  I have discussed this one with a Chinese friend and the verdict is out.  They said that perhaps she was just trying to live up the the Chinese concept of 'the more the merrier' at a meal, but that she personally would not do this, and does not know anyone else who would.  For me it just remains rude behaviour or bad manners.  Although, as it has happened two times, I am starting to wonder if it is a cultural thing, especially amongst the older generation.